You should never rush into a divorce. By making a split-second decision to file, you have not given yourself time to evaluate your feelings. You also have not given yourself time to work on problems with your spouse and build a stronger marriage. However, after weeks, months, or even years of considering the option, it may be time for you to seriously consider your future and whether a divorce is right for you.
Signs You Are Ready for a Divorce
No individual or marriage is the same. An issue that may not bother one couple, such as different religions, may be a deal breaker for different partners. However, there are certain signs that almost always indicate you and your spouse are on the way toward a divorce, including:
- You and your spouse have different values. Over time, you and your spouse may realize your priorities, principles, or morals are no longer aligned. They may never have been, yet it may have more recently become a problem. It can be difficult to build a life together when you disagree on what is most important.
- You and your spouse want different futures. There are certain questions you and your spouse need to agree on for a marriage to work, including whether or not to have children, where to live, and how to balance work and home. If you and your spouse feel differently on these questions, you may want incompatible futures. You may need to compromise or end the marriage to move forward with the future you want.
- You and your spouse already lead separate lives. You and your spouse may have slowly grown apart and starting leading independent lives with only a shared living space. If you find you and your husband or wife are living separate lives, rarely sharing your experiences, it is a sign you are married in name only. This may be reparable, but it depends on what you and your spouse want.
- You no longer care about your spouse’s feelings or vice versa. If you find you no longer care about your spouse’s feelings about certain situations or when he or she is hurt – or you realize your spouse no longer takes your emotions into consideration – then it may be a sign your marriage is no longer happy, supportive, or functional.
- You insult or belittle your spouse or vice versa. Spouses are bound to argue. However, moving beyond healthy arguments to insulting and belittling fights is a sign you two no longer care about each other’s feelings and emotional health. If you find yourself speaking poorly to or about your spouse, or your husband or wife speaks badly to or about you, then it may be a sign you and your spouse are beyond rebuilding your marriage.
- You are no longer interested in physical or emotional intimacy. Healthy marriages are based on intimacy, including emotional closeness and sex. If you or your spouse are no longer interested in maintaining physical and emotional intimacy, then it may be a sign you two are ready to end the marriage.
- You have exhausted your options to repair your marriage. You and your spouse may have attempted to work out your differences, including marriage counseling. However, if it has not helped or one of you is no longer willing to try, it is a sign your problems may be irreparable.
- You want the divorce even when you and your spouse are not fighting. You may get to the point where you consider a divorce even when you and your spouse are in a relatively calm or healthy period. This is a sign you truly want a different future than the one your marriage will create.
Call a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer for Help
If you are considering a divorce or know you are ready to file, call us at Fay, Farrow & Associate, P.C. at 630-961-0060.